Career Profile: Staring into the Sun and Finding Community with Dr. Samaiyah Farid

The AAS Committee on the Status of Women in Astronomy and the AAS Employment Committee have compiled dozens of interviews highlighting the diversity of career trajectories available to astronomers, planetary scientists, etc. The interviews share advice and lessons learned from individuals on those paths.

Dr. Samaiyah Farid is a postdoctoral researcher in the astrophysics department at Yale University
studying the Sun’s outer atmosphere, or corona. She earned both her bachelors and masters of science at Alabama Agricultural & Mechanical University, before graduating with her doctoral degree in astronomy and astrophysics at Vanderbilt University.

How did you first become interested in physics/astronomy?

I have been interested in astronomy since I was a kid! My first realization that I wanted to study astronomy was around 8 years old. I grew up in rural Alabama, so the night sky is very bright and almost overwhelming. I was just amazed with the vastness of space and had lots of questions about the universe. However at that time, I didn’t think studying astronomy could be a job, and the one thing I wanted more was not to be poor. It wasn't until high school physics that I discovered that I could study astrophysics for a living. In fact, until high school, I had never heard the term ‘astrophysics’. I always wondered why everyone wasn't busy figuring out the physical laws that govern the universe and thought I was the only one! Haha. It was a rural area.

Describe the first time you made a personal connection with the universe.

Once, while outside looking at the stars (something we did a lot), my older brother Jauhar said “when you look at the night sky you are looking back in time.” My mind was blown and I started a quest to understand it. I thought that if everyone could see the sky like this and spend time wondering about the universe, then there would be no war or injustice. Whenever I looked at the night sky, I felt like it was consuming me. I thought if I stared at it long enough I would atominize and be sucked up into the stars. Coincidentally, this feeling (and aliens) led to longstanding fear and avoidance of the night sky, but also a desire to understand the universe.

What has your career path been like since graduating with your PhD?

My experience as a postdoc has been interesting. First, I would have never guessed in a million years that I would be a postdoc at Yale. I feel very fortunate. I started during the pandemic so I have had a non-typical experience. The most important thing I have learned as a postdoc is not science related. I learned that how I feel about myself is reflected in my ability to do research, write papers, and present my work. Imposter syndrome is often discussed but what is not discussed is how much it affects your self-esteem and internal value. I have always felt out of place, even as a kid. But, never finding your ‘tribe’ in a field that is a large part of your identity, is very isolating and can be detrimental to your sense of self. I didn't realize how much work it takes to overcome the trauma of out of control imposter syndrome. As a postdoc, I have the resources to find a therapist that understands my perspective. That has been very helpful. For many people, your goal as a postdoc should be to publish as many papers as possible. That mindset was further damaging my mental health and affecting my ability to be a good parent. So now, I try to focus on being healthier and taking small but consistent steps towards my research and writing goals. It's a slower process, but a healthier one. Science and learning in general feels very intimate for me, so I have always had a hard time separating ‘myself’ from my accomplishments in science. Learning to separate my self-worth from my accomplishments or lack thereof is something that I am currently working on.

What have been particularly valuable skills for your current job that you gained from completing your PhD?

Graduate school was really useful for honing skills that help conduct research like computer programming, organizational tactics, focusing tactics, and writing tools. However, the ‘skill’ I cherish the most is the being OK with asking a million questions, even if they are stupid, and my advisor, Dr. Kathy Reeves, did not get frustrated or bored or impatient or make me feel like a burden (maybe they did but they never said so). I really appreciate my research advisors and mentors for giving me that space. It has always been difficult to sit through a lecture that discusses amazing ideas, then have to just go home with so much in my head. So getting comfortable with that part of myself was probably my biggest ‘skill’. It also taught me a lot about the type of mentor I would like to be. I screwed up so much as a grad student. I fell behind in classes, missed paper submission deadlines, struggled with childcare, even took time away to take care of my mom. I was a mess. Through all of that my mentors and instructors were patient and kind - well most of them. I thought that I would be sent packing any day, at any time, but somehow I was never kicked out!

So one skill I will try to implement as a mentor is to help students see past the ‘moment’. There will be many hard moments in graduate school when you may feel like it is the end and you need to quit, go home and sell eggs by the side of the road. But my advisors, instructors, and peer mentors helped me get through those moments and learn that there is a solution to every problem. Neither of these skills are directly related to coursework, but I think internal battles are much more difficult. One skill I wish I could have learned as a grad student is to ask for help! I am still working on that now. The coursework was challenging and it always took me a really long time (usually much longer than the assigned time), so it would have been better to go to the instructors and classmates for help, and to ask for help often. I have fairly intense anxiety so working in groups makes it hard for me to focus. So, asking for one-on-one help would have helped me manage coursework better.

One more skill that I learned as a grad student and still use now, is starting your day with positive, motivating, phrases and lectures. I began listening to self-help speakers like Les Brown when I was finishing my research. It was really helpful. The hardest part of my day was usually walking into the building and into my office. Once I was into my work I could block out the world, but my anxiety getting to my office was intense. My older sister introduced me to motivating lectures and it helped drown out the ‘bees’ and helped me get through the door. I still listen to a mix of positive affirmations, Tupac, and Kanye on the way to work.

How did you end up working in your field?

Serendipity. Fate. The ancestors. It's a winding story. As a freshman I wanted to study black holes and how particles behave in extreme environments. Of course, part of that reason was so I could figure out how to build a time machine and teleporter, but also because I wanted to understand the most fundamental laws of the universe. At that time, in 1998/99, blackholes were still just theory. I will never forget my professor telling me it was a waste of time being interested in black holes. I internalized everything, so of course, what that meant to me was that I was a waste of time. I was a bit lost after that, but still secretly interested in extremes of the universe. I transferred to Alabama A&M University and planned to just get through undergrad so I could go study with Kip Thorne. Ha ha! A completely unrealistic goal. As an undergrad I went on a number of summer REUs. One summer was at Berkeley Lab with Dr. Hakeem Oluseyi. My job was to test part of a CCD (charge-coupled device) that would fly on a mission called SuperNova Explorer studying Type 1A supernovae and the acceleration of the universe. This experience reignited my interest in astrophysics. Coincidentally, when I was preparing to graduate, Alabama A&M started a graduate program in Space Science and Dr. Oluseyi joined as an adjunct, so I stayed on for graduate school to work with him. At that time, he was interested in solar physics, specifically polar plumes, so that became my focus. I was even able to travel to Ghana to collect data during a total solar eclipse! A little later, Dr. Amy Winebarger, also a solar physicist, joined A&M and became my primary advisor. I’ve been in solar physics ever since! It's not blackholes, but I think it's better! I get to look at mind-blowing solar data everyday!

What are some of the challenges and rewards of working in your field?

There are soooo many rewards! Thinking about science, talking to other people about science, teaching people about science, traveling to see total solar eclipses, analyzing cool data, learning new things, figuring out hard problems, thinking of new ways to answer big questions, etc… all for free! In fact, I get paid to do it!!!

There are also many challenges. I have struggled every step of the way with one challenge or another. Writing code, meeting deadlines, writing papers, etc., those things are very challenging. However, the biggest challenges have been the social and emotional aspects of science. Feeling like and/or being treated like you are not a normal human from planet Earth has by far been the biggest challenge. Feeling like you don’t belong, that you are always being examined under a microscope; feeling like you will never measure up and that you are illegitimate are the most difficult challenges. Being the only Black person and/or Black woman in a sea of white people and not knowing why is difficult. Trying to understand why no one thought that it was weird that there were no Black or brown people at physics conferences or universities. Did people not think about it or did they think Black and brown people didn’t like science? Being told in one way or another that I don't belong is difficult. It turns out that research is tedious but nothing compared to the social challenges. There have been so many times I wanted to leave science and raise chickens, but I know that I wouldn't be satisfied….also I kinda hate chickens.

How do you manage all of the different demands on your time?

I am a single parent, so it has been difficult to balance science-life and home-life. It is really great that my current position is very flexible so that I can work around any personal responsibilities. One big perk of being in science is that often the jobs are flexible. However, I can't say that I have figured out how to balance work and life. My social life has suffered, my professional life has suffered, and my family has suffered, but I am grateful because it could be a lot worse.

If you weren’t in your current field, what would you be doing?

I have no idea. I have only ever wanted to study astrophysics, ponder the mysteries of the universe, and ‘save the world’. If I had another job, I am sure that I would still study astrophysics as a hobby. Right now, I would love to work with a think tank to address and solve big Earth-based social problems. However, I would still like to be a solar physicist in some capacity.

Tell us about a favorite moment so far in your career.

Observing total solar eclipses are the top experiences of my career. In theory, I know that we are on a big rock, flying through the infinite universe, but during solar eclipses, I can feel it! It's awesome and terrifying at the same time!

Do you have any advice for students just starting their career in science?

Just keep swimming. Many times in life the path is not clear. You may have no idea how you will pass your courses, or afford grad school, or find a job, or raise your child. But keep at it anyway. Even if you don't feel like you are worthy. Do it anyway. One day, you might look around and see that you have grown and accomplished much more than you ever imagined. It's hard enough to know yourself, don't worry about figuring out the motivations of other people. This is your life, this is your time, so take your time. Spend less time on A’s and accomplishments and more time on asking yourself who you are, why you are, and why you feel the way you feel. Therapy is awesome. Be kind, even when you don't have to be. Figure out your fundamental motivation and that will help you overcome obstacles. Face your fears. Everyone else is afraid too. The single most important thing I have learned is that you can't get it wrong, but you only have one life so just be. Finally, if you just can't seem to get yourself together no matter how hard you try, or how bad you want to, talk to your doctor about Wellbutrin. It sounds like a commercial but antidepressants have really helped me.

Describe your approach to job hunting, any networking resources you use, and any other advice/resources for early career professionals looking for positions in your field.

I have been unusually lucky and blessed. My advice is to try to be true to yourself. Try to do the right thing. Be kind to everyone. Most of the best opportunities I have been given were through networking, so your relationship with people matters. For a long time my advice was, ‘Go! Never say no to an opportunity’, but I am not sure that is good advice anymore. My advice would be to go where you are wanted, not tolerated. Take care of yourself. Apply. Apply. Apply anyway. Look for jobs that bring you JOY, never for what you will get from the job (money, status, etc.). Don't listen to naysayers. The most important resource is people, so go to conferences and meet people as much as possible.

What advice do you have for achieving work-life balance (including having a family)?

I have not figured this out. I am lost and have no good advice. My experience has always been similar to a see-saw. If I am finally focused and doing great work, my daughter will be miserable. If my daughter is happy, I am not getting any work done and I feel horrible about it. The only advice is to try to detach your self-worth from your ‘accomplishments’ because you need to save that mental energy for home. I also try to remember that I have the rest of my life to ponder the universe, so if I get fired (which I feel like is always a possibility) that will be okay. But if I screw up my child, that is not okay. Also, I have no personal life but that is okay too. My advice would be to not be like me. Establish a good support system and use it often.